sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
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And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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