Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
