So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
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well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
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It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship