i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Don't tell me you're on acid again