omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm sobbing to NWA