Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire