how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You made out with two different species that night
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
