the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
