Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
