my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
