What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I believe in your delicious
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
