youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
