we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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