I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
