just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
