There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
