Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
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Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
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Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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