And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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