omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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