I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
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she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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