when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
