another moral hangover. fuck.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
