I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
