So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
