just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
