Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
