You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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