Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I came so hard my ears popped.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
