There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
