is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
