I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
