garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just found puke in my bra..
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize