i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
