i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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