Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
