Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
