a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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