Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
