you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
