i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
