I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
