It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
