Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
