yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It's official drugs can't kill me
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
