Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
