I'm so fucking centered right now
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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