He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
