i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
