I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize