in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
