hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
