Where are you?
In a non slutty way
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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