i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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