found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize