I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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