do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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