it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We have started to decorate penises.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
These tits shall not be calmed
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
