The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
