how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
