Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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