We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
