Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
