Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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