I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
